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RL update

Well I took all my lj friends advise and talked to my parents about  the whole situation about Jacob...I had some hope that they would understand but sadly they did not.
 
My paretnts said that I am not a good parent, and that Jacob needs to be around people who loves him...so what they were trying to say is that I don't love jacob, which is just bullshit!

They said that I brought the situation onto myself, and that I was obvisouly doing a horrable job at working, and thats why I got laid off.

I have to see them in court Wendsday, and I have a bad feeling that i'm going to lose Jacob, but maybe my parents are right maybe he would have a more happy life with his grandparents...

I just feel so alone, and i have been getting deeper and deeper into my depression that I have been struggling with, the only time I feel like going on is when i'm with my baby, but if I lose him, I just don't know what I i'll do.

I have my friends, here at home,and I love them to death, but that does not help heal the empty feeling I feel deep down in my chest. I feel like I let my parents and family down, they always have told me that i'm not good enough, and i'm starting to believe that there right.

I'm sorry for telling you guys about all my problems, but I feel like you all don't judge me, and even though I have not met any of you here I still think of you all as my friends, who I care about deeply.

Thanks for listening.

Ash


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Comments

my thoughts are with you hon. PLEASE take care of yourself. most counties have mental health services available on a sliding scale so even if you have no insurance or money you should be able to get some help for your depression. *hugs*
Sweetie, you have it backwards about your family. Your parents and family let you down by trying to take your child instead of standing by you when you are doing your best to overcome depression and job loss.

And family that always tells you you aren't good enough is emotionally abusive. Family should let you know when sometimes you aren't doing something well enough, but that's very different from calling you "not good enough."

I hope the court will sympathize with you if you tell them that you love your son, that you are working to overcome depression but your parents' effort to take him away is making the depression worse instead, that you are trying to get a new job. Maybe there is a government program that can help you provide for your son while you pursue employment and health and stability. Anyway I wish you the very best for Wednesday and for everything.

Love you lots.

Jackie
I'm so sorry for you and for the sad things that are happening.
I hope your parents and court will understand how much you love your Jacob and how much he means for you.
A big hug
Roby
I wish the best to you.
Good luck, honey
Hug you tight
Marian
I do not know what to say ... but here we are on your side
A big hug
Carmen
*hugs you super tight*

I do hope everything turns out alright. Hang in there hon; here's a whole bunch of people supporting you and loving you!
Ashley, please take care of yourself and Jacob. There must be some help for you somewhere in a country like yours surely? You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Rose x
Oh :(

I really hope things will get better..

My thoughts are with you.

*many hugs*
Never apologize for venting, that's the purpose of having a LJ. I'm sorry to hear about your parents and your fight for your son. I sincerely hope that everything goes well in court. However make sure you don't step into that courtroom with an attorney. If you are feeling really depressed, go to your local hospital and check out their community board. Most hospitals offer all kinds of conseling classes and they are usually free or cost a small amount. I'm not saying that you're nuts, but you were suffering from post partum and you are going through a stressful time, the counseling will definitely help you and at the least will look good in court. That you are willing to seek help for yourself to be a better parent to your child will definitely be points in your favor. I send good thoughts your way.
Oh Ashley, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now. Thinking of you and hope you and Jacob will be alright.
Love,
Caroline
Honey.......You are stressing me. Get onto that computer, and write your ever-loving heart out, and you will feel so much better. That's what I had to do. AND--TOTAL HONESTY!!! And believe me, my whole life has been anything but roses, so you can't shock me with one thing you say. When you are done with writing everything out like I did, I felt better, and ALMOST did not post mine. But, I knew if I didn't it would keep going on. WRITE--WRITE--WRITE. Everything and anything that is associated with this whole ordeal. I have sent you emails. When you are done, send it to me, or someone that you trust. What I found really helped, was at the end when I started mentioning individual people on LJ. What I liked about them, what they and their stories did for me....ANYTHING!!! Get it All off your chest. I have sent you emails wondering how you are, and I'm not getting responses. SO...I won't do this again Ash! Come on now. This is a one-sided conversation, and until the other half starts talking sweetie, I CAN'T HELP YOU! Your Friend, Cat.